Communicating With Children

"Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression." -Dr. Hiam Ginnot

 While working as a Kindergarten teacher at a local private school I encountered many different situations which took quite a bit of thought to resolve. Many parents struggled to resolve conflicts with their children and often resorted to giving them candy, treats, or toys in order to solve the problem. Often times when their children were distressed or inconsolable, parents did not have strategies to work through the situation.

  Appropriate Communication Strategies

Soothing a Child:

Use a Calm Voice-raising your voice or becoming hysterical will only increase the intensity of the situation.
Hold Your Child-holding your child on your lap while rubbing their back or leg can help children calm intense feelings.
Talk to Your Child-speaking calmly to your children and assuring them of your love will create an atmosphere of security for them.
 Identify With Their Feelings-assure children through actions and words that you understand how they feel and want to make it better.
 Provide and Outlet for Emotion-give children the ability to express how they are feeling whether it is verbally or creatively.

 Responding to Inappropriate Behavior:

Be Firm-rather than responding with anger or aggravation, continue using a firm voice while reminding your child how you expect them to behave.
Do Not Give In-as an authority figure/role model for children, it is important that you do not back down when faced with conflict (do not bribe children with sweets, toys, or special items so that they will change their behavior).
Set Clear Expectations-make it clear to your child what it is that you expect when it comes to their behavior.
 Use Your Body Language/Words-show children how it makes you feel when they are not behaving appropriately. Rather than showing them you are angry, help them to understand that it makes you sad and disappointed when they are not doing the right thing.